Let the People Lead the Way

Becoming the Hammer

   Hello KATW friends, I hope the week for you has been short and sweet! Kelly and I have had a very busy couple of days, but they have been filled with a new wind to direct us back on course. Previously I mentioned a few hiccups in the plans of KATW that left us a bit frustrated, but certainly not defeated. As we suspected, the groups that we were scheduled to meet on Thursday gave us a new sense of purpose as well as reasons to keep pushing ahead.

   It was a very early morning yesterday, the earliest one yet and we were anxious to get it started. Mornings here are surprisingly chilly, about 55-60 degrees Fahrenheit, and smokey. You see, as a means of trash removal, workers make piles of whatever trash is lying on the ground which can include plastics as well as leaves, and set fire to it. It seems that they also burn dead plants as a means to prepare the ground for the rainy season, thus creating air that is constantly smelling of smoke. This, combined with the fumes from the diesel burning automobiles, has left me with an olfactory memory of Lilongwe that I'm sure will follow me everywhere, come winter time in America. 

   Out in the smokey, cool morning air Kelly and I rode the cramped little bus down to the Kamuzu Hospital, where Lighthouses' headquarters is located and where Danneck was eagerly awaiting our arrival. Once there Danneck's big smile greeted us as friends and escorted us to his office. We were reminded that we were first meeting with the area 50 support group then the Mphatso group. The area 50 support group has been knitting for two years, has 40+ members and had started their mission/group on their own. Kelly and I were so thrilled to meet this group, for they must certainly be doing the "right" things and perhaps could give us some guidance as to what we should be doing next. Delighted to be making another connection our spirits were lifted even higher when we were told that we were being driven there! While I think the bus is an important experience to understanding the Malawian culture, it sure was nice not to have to worry about if we were getting off at the right stop, not being squished up next to someone so close that they may as well have been you're very best friend for life or having to worry about the skirt getting caught on the exposed metal seat frames. Hopping into a big jeep we were off to our first meeting.

   The ride, as always, was beautiful. The sky had cleared with a warm sun beaming down on us. Though the windows were open as we traveled further from the city, the smell of smoke and diesel fuel dissipated. Roads here vary from paved to dirt. When we hit the dirt roads, often with deep dips and this being the dry season, thick patches of fine red dirt, I didn't understand why anyone would have anything but a four wheel drive jeep/suv/truck, but of course one can only buy what one can afford.
  We pull up to this little brick abode with a thatched roof, a copy of all the other abodes in the village, and anxious to meet this inspiring support group. The moment our doors close, women and a few men come pouring out all singing a beautiful welcoming song. I don't know what the song is called or what they are singing, I just know that they are singing it with elation! Such pure, honest, love and welcoming comes from their jubilant faces, it's all I can do to not join in with tears in my eyes. Neither of us want to feel as though we are thought of as "saviors", that title should be left for story book characters/myths/legends and those that actually risk life and limb to save a person, but in this moment I do feel as though our presence actually means something. Perhaps I am downplaying the significance of what KATW does, or that I'm confusing the feeling of being welcomed and thanked as the same as being told "you're a hero!". Maybe my unwillingness to think that by just offering a helping hand can mean the difference between hope and despair. Maybe I'm just over thinking it all.

   After the beautiful greeting we are ushered in to the small front room of the abode where we begin the meeting. After a short prayer, we are introduced to the board members who share with us their goals, schedule and plans for the next few months. We quickly learn that this group has it together! They are an organized, cohesive, grassroots support group who know what they are doing and where they want to go. We learn that the group started with 7 members after Lighthouse started visiting the village to give medical support to those who are HIV/AIDS positive. They first started knitting so that they could give something to the children who had parent with HIV/AIDS, had HIV/AIDS themselves or who lost family members due to HIV/AIDS. They grew as their message spread and soon enough they went to Lighthouse with the desire to help others through counseling and education. Lighthouse was more than happy to give them whatever support they desired, but at no time did Lighthouse dictate what support the group should have or what they should do with it. While Danneck was explaining this to us, I wanted to make sure I understood the nature of their relationship and asked if they were a tool for the group to use "like a hammer". Danneck laughed at this analogy and said yes they were indeed the hammer of the support group, only picked up when needed and used however the group saw fit to use them.

   An "Ah-ha!" moment came over us and suddenly we saw how KATW needed to help, however the groups wanted us to help and in the best way we could. Since KATW is not permanently in Malawi, it must rely on those who are here 24/7 doing the actual work to give us insight on how to proceed next. This group was doing just that for themselves. They didn't want nor need handouts, just a leg up every now and again. This group, too, mentioned that they were having problems selling, that they seemed to have reached a plateau and needed assistance to reach the next level. KATW was very excited to give them that help as best we could. We plan to meet with them again this coming week to see what we can buy, thus helping them with more capital, as well as looking into other avenues that may give them an edge in the market place. We left, glowing with excitement and new ideas, to head back to the World Camp house for some lunch for us and knitting supplies for our next group.

   The second group we met with that day was the Mphatso group. Danneck unfortunately was tied up with other work, but sent a lovely coworker by the name of Sam in his place. Again, we were driven by car (yes!) to another village and were greeted with that lovely song! With this group there was a lot more dancing and many encores, so many in fact that Sam had to interrupt a few times so that we could get some work done! With this group, we brought knitting needles, yarn and bags since this would be the first time that they knitted as a whole. Their excitement was intoxicating! Kelly and I found that we could not stop smiling from ear to ear so much so that our cheeks hurt by the end of the meeting. At this meeting Kelly and I were able to hear more about what kind of troubles the groups have been running into as far as selling their goods and how to expand so that they may earn money to support themselves and their families. What the other previous groups expressed seemed to be the major problems here too. They had customers, but the customers wanted mass quantities of items or items with tighter stitching. They all wanted to build their business and be able to stand on their own, which is what KATW wanted, but perhaps didn't know until this point.

  Leaving here we were given lots to think about. It seemed clear to us that most of these groups needed knitting to not mainly be a source of therapy, but a source of income. These groups liked knitting, some members even loved to knit, but most did it because they could sell their items to support themselves and their community, which in the end is what KATW wants. With these members, often the stress and even shame that comes with not being able to support themselves let alone their family members, is a much larger issue than their health. Talking with a few individually (using an interpreter), most have found, through the group support, that they are at peace with their health and HIV status. It is not being able to give back that really bothers them. Wow. It still amazes me how most are more concerned about how they aren't able to help others, than they are about getting help themselves. Are all like this? No. Were these two groups prime examples of people rising above the shitty hand that the universe dealt them. Abso-fucking-lutely. Never in my life have I met such strong, selfless, compassionate, gracious people*. It was that day that I came to truly understand the quote by Lila Watson. Here we were two privileged white girls trying to liberate a group of people from a bleak future. Yet there they were, already free and ready to help others. They were in fact helping KATW. All they needed, all they wanted was a helping hand from someone who wants to be a partner in their growth. KATW, got just as much help that day as it gave. These groups shared with us what it meant to be utterly selfless, to want only to share. That often those looked down upon as someone to be pitied are really the ones who should be admired. I believe that KATW still has some growing to do, some hard decisions to make, but it's got a full sail and an amazing crew that will see it through any storm that it will surely encounter.
   Tomorrow I plan on writing about what we learned today, I am one of those people who loves to have time to think and process. Plus it's getting late and once again my procrastination has left little time to spare. So, until next time... Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have - life itself. ~ Walter Anderson

*I would like to note that I do have a Prof. at CCAD that is the epitome of resilience, hope and gratitude. Knowing that there are more like her out there gives me faith that good can and will triumph over evil.